WeekLife....

Waking up at 7:45 perpetually everyday
Getting ready by 8:30….
Enjoying the first fag for the day between 8:40-8:45…
Taking the bus at 8:52….
Watch out the roads from 8:53 – 9:30…else wise drool for that span…
Sign in by 9:35…
Swipe at 9:36…
Walk to my desk…
Switch on the pc by 9:40…
Close all unused taskbar items…includes some stupid IBM crap, Quick Time Player, WinZip n the rest I don’t remember…
Open Outlook, VSS, Gmail and Real Player in the sequence given here by 9:45…
Shoot an sms by 9:50…
Go ahead for the second fag at 10:10…
Work till 11:30…swap and switch tabs – Gmail, Real Player, VSS…
Get up for the third break…play with the jingles till 12:00…
Come back and play a round of 3D...that’s so damn boring man!
Lunch timing varies…1 or 1:30 but can stretch till 2:00…
Break again for a fag of course!
Work till 4:00 or 4:30…break apart….CTRL+B in flash!!
Guess work is getting onto my nerves…
Start packing bag from 5…looking forward to 6:30…
Tick-tock-tick-tock but kambakht 6:30 doesn’t come…
Make a wishful wish! – expect no more official mails except ones from HR and Admin since they are never related to work for most of the times!!
Take the bus at 6:30…these days it becomes the auto at times when am going back with my sister…
The auto drives you along the busy roads and you keep thinking about the day’s events…
At 7:30, you reach the metro station, have a drink or two and then run down the metro steps…
Get down at Park or Rash and wait for brother to come down…
Talk about life and it’s surrealism with Ekalavya – that’s what I call my brother!!
Walk back to home when brother asks lil sister to return…all this while I must be stuffing myself with Fish Fries…he is too fond of feeding me with them!
Between 9:30-9:45, the bell rings and Mom comes out to open it…lock the Watergates and get inside my room to unfurl…
Its msging time – my sister gets to know that am back to home…
Stare at my family members for an hour and then head towards the dinner table by 11:00 max!!
Tune into some good music and meditate till 11:45 or 12…
Talk to brother about likings and disliking....
Weave stories till my eyes start rolling and I fall asleep…normally doesn’t happen before 1:00 or 1:30…

So that’s it…

Clueless ME!!

absolutely clueless about what am going through or rather what i intend to do..
planning n planning is all that has killed me...
coming to jotting those lines down i don't remember what i wanted to write up really...
writing kept me alive for quite some time but with the ongoing scenario i can't think of the activities that i should take up to keep it going...

Spirits quite high up the elbow...
Here I am screwing it up once again...better or for worse don't even ask me..
Funny lines...Quirky lines...Drooling lines...Penchant lines nothing comes to me...
One liners are definitely going to help me swing the load on the other side...
Sadly none comes to my mind right now...
People who can help me on this count are fucked up themselves...
Running to n fro across all parts of the city for the last month or so...
Travelling in trains, of course the metros only...rarely got the chance to ride across the country rails!!
Life!! am I on a roller coaster ride or is it the boring Lazy River scheme?
Why not chalk out a blue fraud scheme n carry on with it??
There you go...instead of writing out something to answer my innumerable queries...
am going on framing questions for myself...makes the task even more difficult...
When I read in between the murky lines, quite a lot of ideas come to me...
But they refuse to drop down when I sit here and write something worth reading for you...
Coming to Ekalavya...tis was a wonderful treat for my eyes first n then for god knows what....
Should catch up with it once again for sure...buy up the fag end of the ticket...stroll along the ghats...n then lays to munch up for...
hang on..time to stop coz i know it myself - am forcing myself to write since i have no one else at present to talk to..
This is what happens to me most of the times these days..whenever am alone n need someone to talk to...the best solution i have found for this is that - go ahead and type it out and read and re-read it again to see for yourself how good an SCRAP EXPERT you are!

Ciao...be right back soon with more crap...

Ekta dushtu gaan shonar anondo...

Today morning has been fine so far…

Life seems to be taking a different route all of a sudden…

Quite some habits are changing…

Have been listening to some songs off late…Anjan Dutta songs…

One of my favorite is, “ Ekta dushtu gaan likhun na Dada..Dushtu gaan lekhan…”

Have started sleeping in the bus again…looking back I miss those days when I had a shoulder to rest upon…but the shoulder less sleep ain’t bad either…

Writing seems to be quite an enjoyable experience once again…

What is it that I want to do write now…want to write down the lyrics of “Dushtu Gaan”..


So here you guys go with the words that mesmerize my ears...the word “mesmerize” doesn’t really go with the appeal of the song but I intend to use it and therefore I am!!!

Dushtu Gaan…

Cinema..Cinema..Cinema...Aj Cinema'r boro din...
Shooting shuru Kolkatai..Bombay'er heroine..

Nirdeshoker driroprotigya emon chobi banabe...
Sharadesh juure shokkole ekshathe tyara hoye jaabe...

Shusto-chinta bhabna niye commercial ketai..
Emon chobi shombhob ekmatro Kolkatai..

Projojog shudhu ekta kothai baar-baar bole jaan...
Ekta dushtu gaan dhokan na Dada..dushtu gaan dhokan..

Ekta dushtu gaan dhokan na Dada..dushtu gaan dhokan..
Ekta dushtu gaan dhokan na Dada..dushtu gaan dhokan..

Ekta dushtu gaan dhokale...dekhiye debo shobbaike bhalo chobitao chole..
Dushtu gaan dhokale..

Dushtu gaan'er moto kintu goppo dushtu noi..
Dushtumita duum kore ami dhukiye debo kothai..
Goppo shey toh goppoi Dada ektu ghuriye diin...
Thattar chholey..haashir chholey likhun dushtu scene...

Gaaner jonnyo goppo naaki goppyer jorey gaan..
Sheta thik kora apnar kaaj..apni shamlaan..

Shooting holo multubi..shokkoke miile bhabe...
Dushtu gaan dhokabe...ki kore dushtu gaan dhokabe..

Dushtu gaan dhokabe...ki kore dushtu gaan dhokabe..
Orey Dushtu gaan dhokabe...ki kore dushtu gaan dhokabe..

Dushtu gaan dhokale..promaan kore debe shobbai bhalo chobitao choley..
Ekta dushtu gaan dhokaley...

Nirdeshoker daari peke jai shara din-raat bhebe..
Ki kore tar bhalo chobitaate dushtumi dhokabe..

Etodin dhore chobir shopno..chobi shey toh banabei..
Eto shohojey haal chere debe na kichutei...

Shei chelebela koto dushtumi kore geche din-raat..
Chobir jonnyo ektu dushtu hobena keno shey aaj?

Shamanno dushtumir jonnyo gota chobi borbaad...
Jodi hoye jai nei taar chobi banabaar odhikaar...

Tai gopper goru gachey uthey giye nachlo ta-dhin-dhin..
Ekta dushtu gaaner scene lekha holo..dushtu gaaner scene...


Dushtu gaaner scene lekha holo..dushtu gaaner scene...
Orey dushtu gaaner scene lekha holo..dushtu gaaner scene...

Karon dushtu gaan dhokale...promaan kore debe shobbai bhalo chobitao choley..
Ekta dushtu gaan dhokale...

Ebaar dushtu gaaner location...duure hobe naaki kachey?
Sweden jaabar murodta nei..dushtu buddhi ache...

Kathey-kaath thuuke hoye gelo set Indrapuritey..
Scene lekha holo...nayok dekhche dushtu cabarey...

Tor-tor kore shhur dewa holo...dushtu-mishti gaan..
Projojog heshe peeth chaprai..etai chobir jaan...

Tai poster holo..prochaar holo..tv'er pordai...
Ekta darun bhalo dushtu chobi hochhe Kolkatai...

Shushtho bhalo ruchir chobi dekhte jodi chaan...
Ektu dushtumi dekhe jaan na Dada..dushtumi dekhe jaan...

Ektu dushtumi dekhe jaan na Dada..dushtumi dekhe jaan...
Please dushtumi dekhe jaan...

Karon dushtumi dekhe gele...promaan kore deben apnara bhalo chobitai choley...

Where are those wings to fly??

There was a time when i had the wings to fly..
Today am sitting atop the perch but the desire to fly ceases to be with me..
Tired of all the atrocities of life i lie on the grass thinking about the night to step in..
As the sea overlooking the cliff changes its colour..a storm seeps me through a ocean of thoughts..
Dreams that i had seen with my soul seem a little blurred..
The time has come to step ahead and open my eyes...
A distant wind lifts me up and down but never allows me to cast away...
The shadow of my existence haunts me at every step..
Stranded amidst the land of gods thy mind feels like a lonely shell..
Looking beyond the horizon i don't see the white flag which showed me the path to wisdom...
Let a small dust in the wind come from the past and lift me up in thy lap and spread the wings...
Let's fly away to some place uninhabited by loners, where life shall never be for rent…
Let's fly away to some far off land where a little bread of love and a wooden house of butter is all that one needs to survive...
It’s the time to hear the call of the wild and ride along with it…
It’s the time to leave aside the past and ride along the future to see a world full of untold tales and for other tales to tell…

Yipee!!!

My sissy is finally reading my blog!! Am all BLUE at last!! am definitely going to put down some more one liners today...all that I do is just for them...am surrounded by a mix of grey...blue...orange... thinking about it differently its best to say that truly its LOVE all around... LOVE ACTUALLY!!!

Quirky ME!!

Been more than a year now! Yes! Apparently the reason why I didn’t want to take up a job was the fear of losing out on writing, blogging to be more precise! But who cares? First it was me being compared with folks around me, as if there was a need to do a comparative study and publish a full-proof analysis report in the pdf format!! Being sick and tired of the blabber and chirpy sounds around me, I left for a city where my life sucked even more. Still that was better because I was left on my own, nobody to answer for, no time bound stuffs happening throughout the day. The people I came across, didn’t quite enthuse me. Not that I wanted to be so but then when you all on your own, you feel the need of a shoulder to rest on. My best friend gave me two quick visits and lightened up my life but I guess I wasn’t really ready to take such short run gains on my stride! I failed to take the best out of it. It was a different me! Time passed by! I cribbed the entire 9 months for being there, worst than the labor pain I guess. Mom says labor pain is really tough to pass through but as an individual right at that point those 9 months were pretty tough.

I came back after a year and started writing all of a sudden. It gave me the inner strength and helped me to bloom out in full. My narcissist tendencies blew up in colors. The camera in my hand gave me a new life. This time I was satisfied but they were not! They wanted me to move on again. So after a year long hiatus I joined a company reluctantly and ended up writing, “Click Next to continue”!! I lost out on most of my good habits. Yes! there was a time when I loved writing like mad, reading books almost anytime I could find time out, doing photography – all of them were gone in a stroke. My relationship with Lord Sensei got strained and I lost touch with him. But then came a time when working day in and day out, I started looking at life with a different lense! The pupils got enlarged and I could see a black smoke slowly approaching my doorstep. I realized it was time I grow out of my shell and bring out the better me whom Sensei had carved out with so much of love. If he had given me so many good things in my life, if he had brought out the true me which I never knew off then why not give it a chance once and be the person whom I should be! And you would be surprised to know, I truly changed into a different being. Got connected with Sensei once again, thanks to the network which followed me!! Yes I jolted back to life with a positive true spirit. Work was there but it stopped bothering as it did previously. I was happy with myself since I was evolving as a human out of the closet!!

Then came a time when I started humming on the stairs and came across a person whose chords struck on the right note and eventually the wheel sped off! She was one of those people inside office who strummed an accurate G Minor! Work was there but the little time we all got in between struggling schedules was kept for a little fun but I guess those nosy eyes didn’t want us to enjoy this freedom. Birds of the same feather were flocking together but the vultures just wanted to rip off the wings and they apparently did that. She was victimized and that dealt with the first blow! For the first time in my life I wanted to fight back against those who don’t matter to me since I have always believed in something opposite. To me I have always fought with those who are too close to me and have shut the doors for those whose existence doesn’t matter to me. Guess it was time to turn around. Someone tried to mentor me and drift me away from the person whom I was becoming close to. This was the best opportunity in my life to do what we call a “Reply to All” in Outlook!! A few days of silence killed me and there I was speaking out my mind. As far as professional contracts are concerned I can bear the grunt on me but not something on the personal count since there’s restricted entry dear! Days passed and I came to know quite a few people through her who matter a lot to me today. This is apparently the reason why I can’t leave her all alone today! Not because I am indebted but also because Sensei, She, and My brother have become an integral part of my life.

The months of September, October, November, and ongoing December took me through rapid changes and seeped me through the tidal waves. The color was a deadly blue one!! I met my brother after a lifetime and got the best love of my life and guess how all this happened!! Sensei showed me the path to love. He only said that my happiness lies in making others happy and here I was trying to spread and share as much as I could. After a long time there I was feeling like a kid standing all alone atop a cliff overlooking the sea with three shadows at the back. The ups and downs in my life don’t matter anymore to me. The different shades of life that I have seen have been a wonder for my eyes. It was through her that I met my brother and the two started pouring so much love on me that all that I could is lie on their lap and be loved forever. No today! am not an afraid soul anymore since I know I have them with me, within me but know what? Because of all this love that I being showered with I have stopped writing and doing stuff which I normally used to do whenever I would be free. But now I don’t have much time or rather I don’t allow time to fit into my love! For the past few weeks am having a thought which perturbs me badly while am asleep! Why is it that am not doing what I loved doing the most at one point of time – the answer lies with me!! I have just too many things lined up the platter. Took time out to see some good works!

Have been traveling quite a lot over the past one month and now I have too many ideas on my mind to write up pesticidal write ups!! Yesterday I went to a college fest after a long time and one of my very good friend (8 years senior to me!!) told me quite many things about life. As I discussed about the different facets of life with him he told me why we all lose out on the battle of life!! With a slight whisker he said why we all should continue doing what we are good at and one brisk moment and my decision was made!! I’ll start writing again, be it whatever crap – I’ll read it, re-read it, re-re-read it and capture the imagery through the wide angle of the lenses!! Think am a little tired right now. Hence am heading straight to meet Hobbes, time to curl up on Hobbes’ lap and talk about geomorphism!! Have to talk to Hobbes about the elders! Time to water them down!! – there you go Calvin!!

Life Saver...

Thank God! I came across FUKITOL...saved up my life....I find no reason to be sad anymore! Living up life to the fullest.. FULLY TOLLED!!

Motto Mantra...

Stop thinking...

Start discussing...

Do something about it...

Open up your whiz book...

Share your experiences with the inner mind...

Explode the balls of wisdom...

Start walking the path of clay...

Conjure up your thoughts...

Capture the imagery through your intrensic lenses...

Read aloud the lines...

Read in between the lines...

Revisit your childhood...

Meet the "3"...

Flip through the folders...

Tune into the music....

Sit on the red couch..

Catch up with THE INCREDIBLES...

Admire the paintings...

Get connected...

Stop following the network wherever it goes...

Stop sparking...it hurts..

Don't go deep...

Give up when you can't...go down instead..

Forget the past...

Run through the present...

Take a ride through the future...

Liven up the spirits of gold..

Give space...

Watch the space at night...

Look at the stars and stare at them whole night..

Wake up with a call to make another...

Quit smoking...

Wishful drinking...

Travelling in a suburban train while listening to the wheels touching the track...

Buy a roadside book...

Wear a shorts and dive straight into the pool to sink and be saved for...

Get a car and speed through the highway...

Meditate near the Ganges...

Watch a sailor rowing his boat along the waters...

Stand in the middle of the road and watch the commotion around...

Smelling old books...

Throw away all junks except the foody stuff...

Keep your room messy..they look better that way...

Figure out disfigured objects...

Wait for someone to call at "8"...
Listen and be strong...
Be honest...
Get scolded...ties up the bond..

Lend your shoulders to rest for...

Go to bed and be obedient...

Crack horny jokes when you are not meant to...

Laugh out loud when you want to...

Wear belts when you should...

Use Johnsons to promote their product...

Dance around like a kid whole day...

End up being someone's dowry..that too in today's world!!

Love and Be loved....

Leave the X-factor behind...

Forget as much as you can...
Remember little things about life...
Leave home without a penny...

Stop being nosy...

Continue with the list when you come up with more!!!

Ok! one more now...put up a pic. with the post to add a magic touch to it...

Well! Well! that's the best mantra of life...sleep and let others sleep...TRULY ME!!!

Choose the lap where you love sleeping the most...

Last but not the least...always center align your stuff!!

Eternity and a Day...

I just feel like pouring it down...when two people in my life who are so close to me came even more close to each other...kept staring at one with utter innocence when she told me about it...but then it was something very natural...general nuances life has to offer at every juncture...my responses to such stuff always comes out in umms...n hmms...you might think that i must be listening to a lot of those gregorian chants but if that is what you think my friend you are mistaken...no i seriously find it difficult to express myself anymore beyond that...when it comes to them i seriously turn comfortably numb...one night stay under the cloudy sky and then the morning jumps into the light to usher in a life full of joy and something which is not measurable...some times when you want to sleep but you can't...you feel the person sitting next to you wouldn't be sitting the same as he/she does the next moment you see them....perhaps that was the case with the two of them...right at 2 he wanted to sleep but she didn't....guess something was wrong with the time...only a crazy nut can think about not wanting to sleep at 2 in the night...leave all those gushy words of you being here, how can i really sleep....one drop of N10 n you dive straight into the dreamy world of your own...cut the crap! yes! that is what she says...so getting back to basics and listening to all that she has to say all the time...i cut to the prelude...or should i call it the interlude?? now that the clock struck 3, it was quiet all around and she was humming the song she loved to sing but poor bugger din't wake up...what a dry...flopsy moron he was...nevertheless in order to continue with the saga...the rain started pouring in a little late....and after a little while it stopped and it was all clear...the stars shone brightly up there...hey did you notice what time it was then? perhaps not...know why? the clock decided to stop ticking for a moment...since it wanted to give away the seconds to her...the whole cosmos of love being showered upon her she was all in joy....take a steep turn now...here comes the rising sun....it's already dawn now....he is awake now and he doesn't want the sun to shine brilliantly and remind him more about the day's wannabe things...he grabs her tight n takes a cab straight to a place near Ganges...the careless whisper around her ears mesmerizes her and puts her into a trance....a mellowed halo full of skinny circles...they sit near the river for a while and as she throws those elliptical pebbles down into the water suddenly a golden fish comes out of the bed and says something to her....he draws himself close to her and they dive straight into the deep sea...the color of blue fills her from within...a color that she smells...a color that she dreams...a color that she paints all over...taking a ride underneath they see a brand new world...they sweep through the seeds and smell its fragrance...cut to the basics and now you see them back to bed...yes! no one's at home...guess the muggles energized their grey matter up to let them be alone for one day in this entire ring of time....all this while she was sweeping through the water and the night before's calmness was getting over her...she felt asleep on his shoulders and let him hold her tight...they wanted to take a peaceful sleep but the milkman at the door had come all across the milky way to deliver the galactic message of blessings from the aura of love...Zeus had sent it with love...he opened the door with a gasp and closed it with a bang...there she was lying on the bed holding her breath back....he just stepped into his short pants and went in for a rendezvous riding the roller...what more? it's 8:30 now...time for you to wake up...time for him to wake up and time for her before all to wake him up...the same old bus takes them back to their belongings n this crap from me ends for the day...see ya tomorrow again...till then keep listening to red chillies and enjoy...sorry for this long commercial break...actually i was trying to write up a jingle...but surprisingly i ended up mingling it with something else...the tinkle in her eyes sparkled with a blue sprinkle...eeeekkk!! am drooling now...YUKON HOO!!! adieu....

Let the spirits speak…

Just as I gazed at your eyes full of tears…
A quick jolt of lightening touched my heart…
It’s something from the past that I have carried along with myself…
The grief stricken faces of those near to me hurts me the most…
And since you were like a distant stranger from the past…
It struck me the most…
Although I don’t feel like writing at this weary hour of the day…
Your eyes have moved me beyond the boundaries of the horizon…
You may never find solitude in me…
But you can always seek the peace within me…
I shall always be there as a shadow beneath the pillars, even when I cease to exist…
But my shoulders will be there forever for you to rest on…
Why do you need to worry about what bothers you the most…
Just close your eyes and dream a little dream with me…
…and you shall see the stretch of ocean overlooking the cliff…
Lie down on the grassy meadows and gaze at the sky above on a moonlit night…
Your mind will flow like a river…
Never worry when your string breaks apart…
Hundreds more shall appear…
Just don’t say a word…since they belong only to me…
Open the window of your mind and let go of yourself…
Just let the spirits speak…Just let the spirits speak…

Inverted Mirror!!

Looking at the inner self. Took this photo about a month back on the day of Titli's Annaprashan. Can you guys believe this?? My little princess has already grown 7 months old!! I had posted about her arrival 7 months back. I look different and that's all that I can say - rest lies on you to comment for. Colleagues say that I would be wearing a saree more often but I refuse to accept this. The informal look gives me an edge over the saree I feel. Not a point to contest for!! I better make a move now. Some prize distribution going to take place within our office premises...goofy stuff!!

Lost in the world of darkness…

Lost in the world of darkness…
Here I am waiting for you since ages…
You had once left me here with a ray of light to be my guide…
Eversince the moment you left me alone in the green bushes…
I have been counting my days to meet you in the twilight zone of love…
Holding your hands I have come into this world of drudgery…
There has not been a single moment when you have let me feel the absence of light around…Your voice has been the source of inspiration for me…
In your presence I have never been able to sleep…
In your absence tears have prevented me from sleep…
Are you waiting somewhere near the bend to meet with the beloved?
Give me a call out in the dark and I shall surely follow the path shown by the guided stroke of love…
Just give me one more stroke of love from your pocket full of rye…
..and that shall leave me in this world with a hope to live for….

Ma...

Have you ever felt the silence of the night?
There have been times when I have spent the night alone thinking about the starry lights...
Your eyes have been the only source of inspiration for me at that moment of night...
I have felt your absence as a child...
Tears have flown down my face like a river during the high tide...
I have craved for you at that wink hour of the night since you are the only thread that binds me with the life around...
The pain within your soul strikes me the most since I cannot bear to see the little drops trickling down your face...
The loss of your beloved has withdrawn your tender touch from my soul...
I want you to come back to the world you once belonged to...
Just close your eyes with me and feel the touch of love within...
I shall hold you like an eagle and embrace you to evade the cold outside...
Rejuvenating your spirits you shall fly away with me to some far across land...
Sitting atop a cliff overlooking the sea I shall spend the day in your lap...
Oh! Mother hold me in your arms as the night arrives in our doorstep...
Forget about the anguish within and hold me tight so that we don’t get swept across by the storm blowing outside..
Oh! Mother hold me tight and let me be with you!!
Oh! Mother hold me tight and let me be with you!!

--Here comes Chotku Mastani Bhujianwala Iiishtylee--

Remember the blogpost long-time back Rajasree? You had taken a logitech pic of yours when u were acting like a usual narcissist and going on and on clicking the clickoshut?? - Here we come back to your original self after many more agonised months ...initially had my hair cut short cause Chennai water was just way too salty and was literally spoiling my not so nourished and nurtured hair...who cares? - yah that was what I used to think about it but my lucky-mate..oops flatmate suggested I shed off my two decade old AUNTY-type looks and sport a trendy one instead...that was the first journey I made after long-head trials and tribulations of my sorrowful life..sounds like a Ramayana as though I was send on a BANAVASS...chuck it anyhow..I crap a lot when it comes to speaking out thy mind about Rapunzel's beloved hair...out of the salon and I was a heppy temp. Chennaite...that's how it began...now back to square one I wasn't getting too many chances to try out shockutherapy with my nerdy family...I was almost feeling like Amelia..who loved to rule but never could do so in reality...since theres' one thing about her and me which we share in common..our outlook towards elderly people...so to say the grown ups...they seriously ain't funny... - ok..not to get diverted from the trendy route I was elaborating on...it so happened that it was a time people inside my house got to see a thriller shockumentary..and there they were to see a privately public screening of it last wednesday when I got back with a A.N.John cut..details about the person comes in later...planning actually to put some uplinks about this guy through Wikipedia....actually should be WICKEDIPAEDIA....
My Thammi (beloved Granny as I call her!!) was a little shocked to see my hair cut so short but then luckily it din't choke her... As of now....it looks good on me...what do you think? - I have been spending a lot of time in reality looking at myself in the mirror..she says I look good...better say so or else I go baldy next time...easy steps to act and go weirdy-nerdo....

To ER(r) is H(ew)mann...

Are we way too CLEVER?

Twingle thumby would love to get a FAVOUR...

Triver-Friber way she flows like a trumpet down the RIVER...

....ROVER....ROVER...ROVER....

Large trees of amazonian vegetation call out loud before BEASTY SHARON pulls the TRIGGER....

Cold blows of chilling nerves flowing down thy spine brings back the SHIVER....

Touching the forehead on a crimson darky doomsday gives you a churning of the FEVER....

Seems like there is something terribly wrong with my LIVER...

Truth lies in the fact that I lost a second nuthead LEVER when...

....ROVER....ROVER...ROVER....

Lady Chatterby hit me straight with her dumbstruck heavenly HAMMER....

Her lover ran out of the car and put my souless body beside the DRIVER...

I see a distant light in the horizon rushing straight ahead to me with its moonlit DIPPER...

Awe my God..atlast I see the ROGGER...ROGGER...ROGGER

Dreams of DESPAIR....Spirit of thy clumsy FLIPPER....a lil of the country LIQOUR...is all that went mad amidst the gibberish BLABBER....

....ROVER....ROVER...ROVER....

P.S: Need no more ERrrrrrrssss..for now...

Here she comes....

Lost in her own world...there SHE comes to be with us.... PUTKU as I've named her is lost in the eternal madworld now....rolling thy eyes and craving earnestly to be in her Mom's crest...

Today as she is here to brighten up our world...I get reminded about Costello singing it loud to me....so I enumerate these lines out for her on Elvis's behalf to raise a toast to this ocassion n to celebrate the joy...Click...Click....Sharing the moment with a touch of Joy....

She
May be the face I can't forget

The trace of pleasure or regret

May be my treasure or the price I have to pay

She

May be the song that summer sings

May be the chill that autumn brings

May be a hundred different things

Within the measure of a day

She

May be the beauty or the beast

May be the famine or the feast

May turn each day into a heaven or a hell

She

May be the mirror of my dreams

The smile reflected in a stream

She

May not be what she may seem

Inside her shell

She

Who always seems so happy in a crowd

Whose eyes can be so private and so proud

No one's allowed to see them when they cry

She

May be the love that cannot hope to last

May come to me from shadows of the past

That I'll remember till the day I die

She

May be the reason I survive

The why and wherefore I'm alive

The one I'll care for through the rough in ready years

Me

I'll take her laughter and her tears

And make them all my souvenirs

For where she goes I've got to be

The meaning of my life is She

She, oh she

She's arrived finaaaaaally!!!!!!

Yep....she's already there with us now...surrounded by those who crave for her the most....perhaps taking a little nap now with her cuty "aangrais"....something is churning within my self...can't explain what it feels like thinking about her n the thought of taking her in my tender lap...one more to be added onto the mixer-grind of life....the words seem to be in a disarray now....there are so many linguistic imageries flashing my mind right now that finding it exciting yet confused as to write about her...wondering who's this she na? - get back to me later...let me see her within the next hour or so and i'll capture her tiny...cutey eyes with my lenses....and the world will get to see a glimpse of her too....till then hold your breath for her...bet you can't help but fall in love with her...

Random thoughts of a binomally distributed mind!!

Have I really thought about giving it a try to come up with something normal..what I mean is eventually this..I have come across lots and lots of styles of writing..well that's what motivated me at the beginning to start writing...I was reading a lot of blogs eversince I landed up in Lapierre's City of Joy in April...Iraq was burning blue...heard Burn it Blue from Frida's soundtrack?? ...eventually something like it - we are digressing again...i mean me..myself and my numb finger..my lines from here might take a swift turn because i had left it on to take care of receipts for a bon-voyage..it is not on a pleasure trip that I have planned for this winter ahead...an agent had come from the tourmaker agency to drop down my brother's return ticket to 'SILLY'guri....now giving myself a knee jerk just to remind what was i talking about? - reading blogs and stylised writings to inspire me enough to start writing...well at the beginning i was reading more and more of them to hear beyond the ear...to know something with a shape of mind gone unbound. Slowly as i picked up pace to pen the thoughts down, the more i dwelved on them...the more did it turn out to be poetic dreams of despair where most of the linguistic centered around verbatim of an illicit order...some of them were taking rounds and rounds in the same direction. As i glimpse through the past few months and my work overboard the more do i notice a repeatition in it. The idea of getting inspiration is no doubt a noble one, be it copying down templates to give my weblog a look of something I strive to make it look for or be it the style of putting words down to form a coherent sentence! - but the thought and practicality of writing something to draw in comparisons and be praised for started killing me and affected my way of putting the ideas clear. I noticed I was writing for its sake and not truly with a feeling within, I was doing things because others have done and hence shown me a path to follow and be praised as they have for...but that was where I went wrong and on top of that I started grumbling about it and came up with more gibberish thoughts. The feeling of being a ambidextrous fella with the thoughts perverted up thy soul like a phlegm is really nervewracking enough to give both my thoughts and stylised concepts a break. There was a time when I kept posting thrice-four times a day and kept getting back at my blog just to see whether people have poured in to give my blog a roll or not..i was coming up with ideas to put up with banners to give it a shiny look but amidst a whole gamut of issues I was truly losing the meaning to writing up my inner thoughts freely at this virtual space. No I had not come here to display my talents and show it every tresspasser to hear...read...look up for to cheer me up with a good..bad...ugly pat but the little stray of my confused thoughts purged up in a soulless mind tore me apart and I lost the spirit. Even as I am writing these lines I might sound repeatitive at the corners down every bend but i do not care for it at all. Life for the last seven months has been like a tilt-a-whirl tour for me..the more i step on the ride..the more does it jolt me out to throw far away from the madding crowd and lead a life of my own but the each and every time i walk on the streets and drive a car the distant imagery seems like a roller coaster ride to me and my vision turns blurry. There are a randomized series of arithmetic thoughts churning up my young blood for 24 hours round the clock but I seldom try to rise up the ladder and liberate myself to be free from the soul. At times I have tried to capture the moments of a potrait never carved out in the canvas of polaroid dreams through my lenses and write a thought provoking passage to follow with it but nothing seems to grasp me from within and hold me back to rest on my grandfather's armchair and think about who I truly am while it rocks me from within. Is it the care I lack or my inability to communicate with those who are close to me yet not so to be able to see them through? - I think I am just getting too many thoughts clogged up in my mind and before I go nerd again on that I would like to pull a red dot to stop by and pump in the fuel to get back with a fresh adrenaline rush blowing to fill the air within...

P.S Initially when I had started to write I din't have the intention to sound this way but my crackspot brain helped me enough to indulge in this stupid process again...I know it'll improve slowly with the passage of time...yep! - i know you are there to support as you read it and go taaow.. on a perplexed note!!

....she's a sawdust candle in the wind **

Life's like a sawdust candle blown away in a whisp...
The more you try to move your numb fingers towards them...
the more do you run away from its flame...
The candle lit to life is nothing but a burning flame of love's saga untold...
As you touch them with the tiptoes of a tender hand they flicker away in the dark to catch upon the gibberish wind to knock at its dusty door...
The life full of light is lost in its worldlyness and wants to run away with the weather into shadowy lands where dense claws of unknown nature would fail to bring a shiver down her spine...
Cheeks turned red in a moment of anguish will then be liberated to a soul beyond the rising and...
....a shadow will be cast upon her moonlit face on this gentle night....taking the first step to the world of niggards she would be riding on a goal to free the misers to let fire roar among the destiny's horizon to see a new era rising within the garden of Ulysses to let the buds play out in bloom and touch the beauty of flame....

That's what I feel now...

I am not a humming bird today...
Tears come when the time is for them to come...
They don't listen to the call of the wild...
They listen to the call of the mind in the darkness of the night when owls fly past your house and put a strike of love accross your heart!!
You are not alone out here, the humming bird sings down your spine to make you hear to your soul...
The fleating ships sail across with a light moving here-de-thee...
They are calling you to join the anthem of the eternity..
Come join us out here in the golden shadow...Come join us in the golden meadow..
You can make all hear through the bird as we all depart on a jetplane..
As we are never going to be here to be back again!!