Quirky ME!!

Been more than a year now! Yes! Apparently the reason why I didn’t want to take up a job was the fear of losing out on writing, blogging to be more precise! But who cares? First it was me being compared with folks around me, as if there was a need to do a comparative study and publish a full-proof analysis report in the pdf format!! Being sick and tired of the blabber and chirpy sounds around me, I left for a city where my life sucked even more. Still that was better because I was left on my own, nobody to answer for, no time bound stuffs happening throughout the day. The people I came across, didn’t quite enthuse me. Not that I wanted to be so but then when you all on your own, you feel the need of a shoulder to rest on. My best friend gave me two quick visits and lightened up my life but I guess I wasn’t really ready to take such short run gains on my stride! I failed to take the best out of it. It was a different me! Time passed by! I cribbed the entire 9 months for being there, worst than the labor pain I guess. Mom says labor pain is really tough to pass through but as an individual right at that point those 9 months were pretty tough.

I came back after a year and started writing all of a sudden. It gave me the inner strength and helped me to bloom out in full. My narcissist tendencies blew up in colors. The camera in my hand gave me a new life. This time I was satisfied but they were not! They wanted me to move on again. So after a year long hiatus I joined a company reluctantly and ended up writing, “Click Next to continue”!! I lost out on most of my good habits. Yes! there was a time when I loved writing like mad, reading books almost anytime I could find time out, doing photography – all of them were gone in a stroke. My relationship with Lord Sensei got strained and I lost touch with him. But then came a time when working day in and day out, I started looking at life with a different lense! The pupils got enlarged and I could see a black smoke slowly approaching my doorstep. I realized it was time I grow out of my shell and bring out the better me whom Sensei had carved out with so much of love. If he had given me so many good things in my life, if he had brought out the true me which I never knew off then why not give it a chance once and be the person whom I should be! And you would be surprised to know, I truly changed into a different being. Got connected with Sensei once again, thanks to the network which followed me!! Yes I jolted back to life with a positive true spirit. Work was there but it stopped bothering as it did previously. I was happy with myself since I was evolving as a human out of the closet!!

Then came a time when I started humming on the stairs and came across a person whose chords struck on the right note and eventually the wheel sped off! She was one of those people inside office who strummed an accurate G Minor! Work was there but the little time we all got in between struggling schedules was kept for a little fun but I guess those nosy eyes didn’t want us to enjoy this freedom. Birds of the same feather were flocking together but the vultures just wanted to rip off the wings and they apparently did that. She was victimized and that dealt with the first blow! For the first time in my life I wanted to fight back against those who don’t matter to me since I have always believed in something opposite. To me I have always fought with those who are too close to me and have shut the doors for those whose existence doesn’t matter to me. Guess it was time to turn around. Someone tried to mentor me and drift me away from the person whom I was becoming close to. This was the best opportunity in my life to do what we call a “Reply to All” in Outlook!! A few days of silence killed me and there I was speaking out my mind. As far as professional contracts are concerned I can bear the grunt on me but not something on the personal count since there’s restricted entry dear! Days passed and I came to know quite a few people through her who matter a lot to me today. This is apparently the reason why I can’t leave her all alone today! Not because I am indebted but also because Sensei, She, and My brother have become an integral part of my life.

The months of September, October, November, and ongoing December took me through rapid changes and seeped me through the tidal waves. The color was a deadly blue one!! I met my brother after a lifetime and got the best love of my life and guess how all this happened!! Sensei showed me the path to love. He only said that my happiness lies in making others happy and here I was trying to spread and share as much as I could. After a long time there I was feeling like a kid standing all alone atop a cliff overlooking the sea with three shadows at the back. The ups and downs in my life don’t matter anymore to me. The different shades of life that I have seen have been a wonder for my eyes. It was through her that I met my brother and the two started pouring so much love on me that all that I could is lie on their lap and be loved forever. No today! am not an afraid soul anymore since I know I have them with me, within me but know what? Because of all this love that I being showered with I have stopped writing and doing stuff which I normally used to do whenever I would be free. But now I don’t have much time or rather I don’t allow time to fit into my love! For the past few weeks am having a thought which perturbs me badly while am asleep! Why is it that am not doing what I loved doing the most at one point of time – the answer lies with me!! I have just too many things lined up the platter. Took time out to see some good works!

Have been traveling quite a lot over the past one month and now I have too many ideas on my mind to write up pesticidal write ups!! Yesterday I went to a college fest after a long time and one of my very good friend (8 years senior to me!!) told me quite many things about life. As I discussed about the different facets of life with him he told me why we all lose out on the battle of life!! With a slight whisker he said why we all should continue doing what we are good at and one brisk moment and my decision was made!! I’ll start writing again, be it whatever crap – I’ll read it, re-read it, re-re-read it and capture the imagery through the wide angle of the lenses!! Think am a little tired right now. Hence am heading straight to meet Hobbes, time to curl up on Hobbes’ lap and talk about geomorphism!! Have to talk to Hobbes about the elders! Time to water them down!! – there you go Calvin!!