As my day rolls on today...

It’s a dry and sulky morning when I am sitting on my desk and thinking what to do. Apparently there is no work and neither do I want some to pour in. This is something in life that I hate to do – give me anything else to do excepting work! I know you would laugh at this but seriously speaking there is nothing that I can do about this feeling of mine. Every damn morning I come to office thinking that I would be doing something worthwhile, I mean writing something readable but I end up doing the worse part. I am writing for stuffs which doesn’t enthuse me at all. It is true that you don’t get the best job every time you want it but then it’s been for quite some time. Writing for an e-learning media has now become a curse for me. Same style of writing, nothing to explore out really – every time I pen down some lines I feel am getting more and more into the gutter. Boss! some difference in style at least, but then how would you get it unless there is scope. Before I started working with the company I am currently employed with, writing came naturally to me. I never considered it as a burden. Now, I seriously feel so as though something crude is being thrust upon me! As I try to weave some poetic lines, buttons and pop-ups come to my mind – Christ sake! I need a break!! Can I really get the spirit back? I think it’s time to look back and see where I am really – I feel am on the verge of breaking up! Somewhere round the bend, I feel, I see a light leading me to the path of clouds, but then sudden smog appears and everything vanishes. I run back and rush through the thoughts and find myself sitting in the same place from where I was writing. I guess it’s time to steer clear of all the hurdles and drive through the desert on a safari – journey till the end of horizon. Maybe I should’ve been a travel journalist working with the Outlook, that ways I would’ve been happy, maybe not! I really don’t know – perpetually confused as I am all the time. Putting a stop now since its inevitable now! Get back to you in a jiffy.

WeekLife....

Waking up at 7:45 perpetually everyday
Getting ready by 8:30….
Enjoying the first fag for the day between 8:40-8:45…
Taking the bus at 8:52….
Watch out the roads from 8:53 – 9:30…else wise drool for that span…
Sign in by 9:35…
Swipe at 9:36…
Walk to my desk…
Switch on the pc by 9:40…
Close all unused taskbar items…includes some stupid IBM crap, Quick Time Player, WinZip n the rest I don’t remember…
Open Outlook, VSS, Gmail and Real Player in the sequence given here by 9:45…
Shoot an sms by 9:50…
Go ahead for the second fag at 10:10…
Work till 11:30…swap and switch tabs – Gmail, Real Player, VSS…
Get up for the third break…play with the jingles till 12:00…
Come back and play a round of 3D...that’s so damn boring man!
Lunch timing varies…1 or 1:30 but can stretch till 2:00…
Break again for a fag of course!
Work till 4:00 or 4:30…break apart….CTRL+B in flash!!
Guess work is getting onto my nerves…
Start packing bag from 5…looking forward to 6:30…
Tick-tock-tick-tock but kambakht 6:30 doesn’t come…
Make a wishful wish! – expect no more official mails except ones from HR and Admin since they are never related to work for most of the times!!
Take the bus at 6:30…these days it becomes the auto at times when am going back with my sister…
The auto drives you along the busy roads and you keep thinking about the day’s events…
At 7:30, you reach the metro station, have a drink or two and then run down the metro steps…
Get down at Park or Rash and wait for brother to come down…
Talk about life and it’s surrealism with Ekalavya – that’s what I call my brother!!
Walk back to home when brother asks lil sister to return…all this while I must be stuffing myself with Fish Fries…he is too fond of feeding me with them!
Between 9:30-9:45, the bell rings and Mom comes out to open it…lock the Watergates and get inside my room to unfurl…
Its msging time – my sister gets to know that am back to home…
Stare at my family members for an hour and then head towards the dinner table by 11:00 max!!
Tune into some good music and meditate till 11:45 or 12…
Talk to brother about likings and disliking....
Weave stories till my eyes start rolling and I fall asleep…normally doesn’t happen before 1:00 or 1:30…

So that’s it…

Clueless ME!!

absolutely clueless about what am going through or rather what i intend to do..
planning n planning is all that has killed me...
coming to jotting those lines down i don't remember what i wanted to write up really...
writing kept me alive for quite some time but with the ongoing scenario i can't think of the activities that i should take up to keep it going...

Spirits quite high up the elbow...
Here I am screwing it up once again...better or for worse don't even ask me..
Funny lines...Quirky lines...Drooling lines...Penchant lines nothing comes to me...
One liners are definitely going to help me swing the load on the other side...
Sadly none comes to my mind right now...
People who can help me on this count are fucked up themselves...
Running to n fro across all parts of the city for the last month or so...
Travelling in trains, of course the metros only...rarely got the chance to ride across the country rails!!
Life!! am I on a roller coaster ride or is it the boring Lazy River scheme?
Why not chalk out a blue fraud scheme n carry on with it??
There you go...instead of writing out something to answer my innumerable queries...
am going on framing questions for myself...makes the task even more difficult...
When I read in between the murky lines, quite a lot of ideas come to me...
But they refuse to drop down when I sit here and write something worth reading for you...
Coming to Ekalavya...tis was a wonderful treat for my eyes first n then for god knows what....
Should catch up with it once again for sure...buy up the fag end of the ticket...stroll along the ghats...n then lays to munch up for...
hang on..time to stop coz i know it myself - am forcing myself to write since i have no one else at present to talk to..
This is what happens to me most of the times these days..whenever am alone n need someone to talk to...the best solution i have found for this is that - go ahead and type it out and read and re-read it again to see for yourself how good an SCRAP EXPERT you are!

Ciao...be right back soon with more crap...